While hanging with the parentals we decided to see a movie. When it comes to hanging with them, i usually let them do all the picking since they are paying I love them. We caught that Denzel movie. The one with the train.
No, not Pelham 123. That was the LAST train movie. He apparently did ANOTHER train Movie. This one was good.
Predictable.
But still good.
After the flick, the parentals were in the mood for a nosh. I was ready with my Yelp app but they told me it wasnt needed. Feeling a little defeated as I am a Yelp enthusiast and take pride in my restaurant choices, i let them persuade me to go to 5 Napkin Burger.
I have heard good things. Sadly, I am not about to say anything good about this place.
The parentals shared an enormous burger the last time they were at 5 Napkin Burger. And they enjoyed it. But there was a sign in the window that said there was a Happy Hour Special.
Happy hour? on a Saturday? with my parents?
Okay…$4 beers and $2 sliders. We walk into the joint and are greeted by a very enthusiastic hostess who seats us at the bar. The bartender sees us being seated, walks up to us, says hi and walks away. No menus. No coasters.
We flag him down and ask for menus. He says okay. But he never brings us menus. So we politely borrow the menu he just gave to the woman who was seated AFTER us. I smile, he walks over, I ask him a question about the beer. He answers it and walks away before I can say “Oh, that sounds wonderful. I’d like one of those please”
When he finally comes back we order our drinks in one quick breath before he walks away again. I ordered Dog Fish Head 90 Minute ale. Tasty. 
While looking at the menu, the bartender comes towards us and mom took the opportunity to just order everything we definitely knew we wanted and left the option to order more. We started with some wings. 2 wings for $1. 
He brought over the wings since they were done first and neglected to provide napkins or plates. So we ate with our hands and I reached over that imaginary wall to grab some drink napkins. By this point my mother was LIVID. 
Our sliders arrive… I ordered the beef and the turkey so i could try them both.
The Beef? WTF. Horrid. The patty was flavorless. The cheese was improperly paired and a very off putting sauce was globbed on top of the burger. It made for a very gooey (in a bad way) kind of burger and a terrible after taste. This was the first time in a LONG time that I didn’t take another bite. This slider made me gag. true story.
Then the turkey burger was a little better. The patty was a bit spongy… perhaps too much liquid in the mix… it was smothered in peppers and onions which made the flavor of the turkey non existent. The bun was soggy to the point of disintegration. I also left this on my plate.
Mom, knowing that I never waste food felt terrible and suggested I try the last available slider. The Veggie slider.
Fried to a crisp. But nice textures going on. With the soft innards of the veggie burger and the crunch of the pickles- i had a great mouth feeling going on. And the thousand island dressing paired nicely with the sour pickles and oniony burger. Not to say this was the best burger I have ever had in my life… but compared to the other slider FAYULS that I previously ate, this was great.
One thing we did notice at this point…
“where the F*ck are my fries?”
Bartender never ordered them. And at this point it was either order another slider (GAH) or wait for some fries.
We waited.
Fries came out. Perfect. Crisp on the outside but mush on the inside. yum.
The woman next to us was offered ketchup. Bartender dropped off our fries and…. you guessed it… walked away.
I checked to make sure none of us smelled bad. We actually smelled good. I checked to see if maybe any of us were wearing any gang insignia.. but we were all clean. I really dont know why this bartender treated us so differently from the woman seated next to us.
And that pissed me off.
When the bartender came back to see if we were okay, i asked for Ketchup. I kept asking for ketchup. And when he brought it over, I left it there untouched. Call me a bitch but i am paying the same amount as Fulana next to me, i should receive the same service. I also asked for napkins. And i left the pile he gave me right where placed them.
Mom was about to leave without giving him a tip. As awful as I thought his service was I felt that leaving the minimum tip was more of an insult. And the fact that i was going to put him on blast on my blog was enough punishment.
We left. Disappointed is not the word. I vow to never come back… while my parents vow to never sit at the bar again.
And this might be the first time I have ever had such a horrible time at a restaurant….
Ever have bad food AND service? DISH!
Oh and If anyone was looking to get their hands on my Pumpkin Cheesecake with a gingersnap crust, the recipe is being featured on a fellow Diva’s website. I must warn you tho, you might feel inclined to run to the store and get pumpkin and cream cheese to bake this immediately. just sayin..
XOXOXOX
Mo Diva
I hear good things about this place too – but mark my word – the one in Astoria wont get a nickel from me!
LOL 2 train movies? Oh Denzel…We have some of that 90 minute ale in the fridge right now! I think this is the perfect reason to blog. So others don't have a crappy experience.
Ugh that is HORRIBLE! I've heard good things about this place in general. Never been to the one in astoria. And never will. You should have dropped hints that you were a food blogger and that people around the country were going to find out about this. That should have gotten him shaking in his boots.