Pimps, Hoes, and a Madame

Good Day to you my lovelies.

I am back from my night of debauchery (and boy did I pay a price!) I left you all with a question of what one would wear to a Pimps and Hoes party and i was quite impressed with your ideas on what a Ho should wear. And one you clever little divas beat me to the punch. My goal the whole time, was to be the one who thought out of the box at said party. One Healthy Apple suggested that I dress as the pimp instead of the Ho…Clever little Diva! My plan from the get-go was to go dressed as a Madame, neither Pimp, neither ho. Just an expensive upgrade if you will!

The day of the event was a hot and sunny day that I spent with my parents at Flushing Meadow Park once again. We had a picnic. I forgot to put on my sunscreen and scored a righteous farmers tan… and was going to be sporting a tube top at the night time event… damn. After a doosy of a heat induced headache, i took a nap and got ready for the party. I was kinda late… but it was 4 blocks from my apt… so i could afford to be late.

Above is the Birthday Boy, Peter. We go waaaaay back- probably to the diaper days… and he was my first roomie! Never had an older brother but he’s pretty much family in my book, Oh, and he’s getting married this year- so I inherit his wifey as family too… in my book anyway. (wonder when this “book” will ever be written) ANYWAY, I arrived as everyone had had a few drinks so the crowd was a bit loose…

And I snapped a pic before the drinks started to flow. Which was a good idea because I made a very big ROOKIE mistake. Having had a bout of heat stroke prior to the party I didn’t feel like having dinner since the party was also going to be a barbeque. When I arrived I had my first drink.

Pimp Juice. Contents: everything. Verdict: Tricky Juice! Did not have an alcohol taste which is dangerous when its a tad muggy outside. One pimp juice turned to three and I still didnt have any food in my system.

Then the photos started. Notice the BURN on one half of my arm? Shameless farmers tan… smh.

Drink number 4. Quite a large mojito. And at this point I ate a piece of Chicken. It was definitely too late for that… and the chicken was fried. grease plus alcohol is NEVER a good idea. Just in case you were thinking of doing it- DONT….

Number 5. And in between this pic and the previous a jell-o shot… and a tequila shot. My next piece of advice is NEVER MIX. You think its a good idea at the time but it IS NOT.

Not bad looking for a drunk lady?

Oh God…. thats number 6. Look at my hungry eyes. Peter made some banging mojitos. The mere suggestion of a mojito right now just makes me dizzy.

Pimp Shoes. and Peter, Nice legs. No Comment

At midnight we sang happy birthday to the kid and cut the cake made by my unofficial future sister in law. Only shes just my bffs fiance. Its my story though, so my story, my rules.

Me, Tomoko, and Kammy. Kammy left kisses on my arms and back. Showing Respect to Madame Mo…

Ain’t they the cutest?? This is my favorite pic of them. Candid and natural. No fake smiles. Just sheer drunken bliss. I like it. Is this appropriate for Save The Dates??? LOL

And around this time I started to really lose it. I dont remember taking this pic. Nor do i remember posing for it and uploading it to facebook. But this was around the time I collected my things and stumbled home.

The following hours after this are a painful blur. I have never been so sick in my life. Today as I recap this im still a lil queasy… but I still had a great time celebrating. Just next time I will be sure to LEARN from my mistakes:

1. EAT before i DRINK

2. If I forget to eat, DONT consume GREASY food in between drinks

3. DONT MIX!

Thank you all for bearing through this post. I hope you had a good laugh! Not many food pics to follow since the only thing I managed to eat yesterday was a turkey sandwich and 3 bottles of gatorade.

How was YOUR weekend????

My Mini HS reunion with Meg[s]

Almost an entire decade ago (breathing into a paper bag) I went to High School. How the hell am I old enough to have been out of school for that long? I am telling myself that the mathematics is wrong and I am still a spring chicken who could eat doritos and a pepsi (not diet) for breakfast and not have to run 5 miles to burn it off. We all know that would be lovely… I am still adjusting to adulthood obviously…and REALITY.
Thanks to the Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with all the wonderful people from my past that otherwise would have just slipped away from me forever… Megan is one of those people. Doncha just love those notifications “[so and so] Wants to Be Your Friend”? After accepting her request moons ago, i noticed her love for my favorite drink: alcohol, and a love for my favorite meal of the day: brunch. Through status updates and photos we finally decided that the two of us needed to get together to have alcohol at noon… what better way to accomplish this than via BRUNCH.
Meg, knowing about this blog, gave me full permission to pick a place – me being a “snob” and all… and really snob is not the right word for me but i didnt think that “lover of all foods” was as catchy a title a year ago when i decided to start this blog. But eater, lover of foods, and maybe even a Foodie, I couldn’t for the life of me pick a place. Must be old age. So I went to my new favorite gadget: YELP. I went to yelp and i wrote CHEAP BRUNCH (exciting, I know) because some places in NYC have REALLY REALLY expensive brunch thats really NOT worth The PRICE TAG… and after seeing all the comments and ratings I made my decision.
Meg approved. And even better- she had been there before (but not for brunch). Ten years later, we are still adorable as hell.

Cafe Orlin in the East Village is deceptively large with a small main dining area that has two other connecting dining areas. The tables are small and close together and the menu has but two pages. I heard Rave Reviews about pumpkin pancakes with cinnamon yogurt but space cadet..i mean Meg, had to make an unexpected trip right before our scheduled date (but i should note that I was the first to botch our plans… so we are even, k meg?) With all that had transpired we both wanted one thing right when we sat down.

DRINKS! I ordered a chocolate martini and Megan ordered a white wine. Its been ages since I had a chocolate martini! and i know the calorie count is ridic, but I really wanted one and this one looked pefect.it was good to the last drop…

Our food arrived. Meg ordered a penne dish with a cream sauce, with sundried tomatoes, chicken and mushrooms. I stole a bite and was in carb heaven. the pasta was perfectly cooked and the sauce wasn’t too heavy. It needed some bread for sopping up creamy goodness… But Meg was satisfied with her pasta. She also had a side of healthy steamed veggies. shes a good role model.

I ordered the goat cheese sandwich. Crispy baguette stuffed with goat cheese, roasted red peppers, eggplant, zucchini and carmelized onions. Definitely a mouthful- even for my big mouth! I took the sandwich apart and ate it with my fingers. Each layer of it was wonderful- and my fries were awesome. I kinda touched the salad but mostly the fries. and the bread. and the cheese. mmm. It was great.

Meg and I were having such a good time we decided to go for round 2…

I had such a great time catching up with Meg. She doesn’t work too far from me and we both promised to not wait another 10 years before we hungout again. We discovered we both love to eat so we will be getting together and doing research for the purpose of blogging. its research. the drinks are just bonuses.

Just a side note, Meg is working on a really awesome project that she is documenting on facebook… for an entire year, Meg will take one photo and post it on facebook. I told her she should blog it with stories on the pics- some of these pics are freakin hilarious! Who wants Meg to start a blog???

When they say on the House, they mean its NOT free…

In a few day I will be hopping a flight to Texas for the APLS Conference and won’t be seeing my family or friends for like 5 days, so we decided to have a big dinner at Sofrito. Sofrito is an upscale restaurant on East 57th and 1st Ave and they serve Puerto Rican Cuisine… Prepare yourselves for culinary porn… Here is the best sangria I have ever had! I beleive their secret lies within a bottle of Blackberry Brandy and some triple sec in a good sweet red… We each had 3 glasses of this lovely stuff.

The wait for for one whole hour so when we sat down we immediately decided to order an appetizer. I was glad i had my camera with me. This platter was amazing! It was chicharones de pollo y pernil (fried chunks of chicken and pork), fried shrip, fried calamari, tostones de mariscos, carne, pollo, y pulpo. (fried plantains served with shrimp, beef, chicken, and octopus. sooo good!
My momma and poppa… we were all smiles till we found out the appetizer was $60. So glad we took a photo of that one because we will NEVER order that one again.
My friend Dan and his wife Nechama. It was her birthday last week so we were all secretly planning an embarrassing birthday cake for dessert.
Me and the boy! He has a face! Ladies and Gents, this Be Henritos.
Me and Nechama acting like seafood bandits…we attacked the mariscos hard core.
Then my entree arrived. This is what a $25 paella looks like. Its HUGE. Its loaded. Its mine. And pretty much the best entre on the friggin menu.
Paella is safron rice with peas, chorizo, mussels, clams, lobster, and chicken along with some sliced red peppers. I had so much food in my bowl that I was giving away stuff. Henry helped me eat it by loving reaching over for rice
Dan got the fried pork chops. He loved it. I didnt try it but everyone else did. They said it was crisp on the outside and extremly juicy on the inside. and of course it was expertly seasoned.
Dad had the Roast Pork (aka Pernil) which had a crisp skin and juicy dark meat inside. Served with a side of arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas) and platano maduros (sweet plantains)
Mom and Nechama got the stuffed Red Snapper. Nechama’s worst fear was that her fish would be looking at her…but it was so good she didnt even care! It was stuffed with calamari and shrimp. (Dan poked out the eyes when she was done- gross)
Henry got a shrimp scampi of sorts with garlic spinach. He enjoyed it but LOVED the paella. He plans on getting the paella next time…
Then while we were eating, Henry told the waiter it was Nechama’s Birthday (its tradition for us to go to Sofrito to Celebrate a Birthday and we were happy there was an actual birthday!) so the waiter replied with “Congrats Man, I will bring your table two desserts on the house” Doesnt that mean FREE???
Right, the waiter claims to have said he will bring two of the best desserts of the house… which is very slick in my opinion. He didnt even ask what we wanted and just brought over two desserts. Tres Leches cake (on the right) and flan (on the left). Both were good but the flan was hands down the best.
After dinner Henry surprised me and took me to the rooftop garden on 5th ave. They gave us robes and blankets while we sat in the moonlight with a gorgeous backdrop.
We were given warm red robes to keep warm with blankets and had big mugs of smokin hot spiked ciders! They were delicious and hit the spot.
Dan and Nechama reported they felt like a part of a secret red robe society or a Harry Potter event.
I had a big irish coffee and Henry had a Makers Mark with maple syrup.

I’m Funnier When I Don’t Care (or so I’ve been told)

As promised, I have Pictures from the Foodie Event that I went to last night.
I received this wickedly Awesome email from Foodbuzz and the first 10 or so that rsvp’ed got it. Duh, I was one of the ten. I thought I was the first one but obviously I was not when I was handed a blank name tag and made to write my own name as if I were some foodie stepchild.
I digress, I really want to talk about my first foodie experience! It was amazing. I snapped a shot of the welcome sign because I saw my reflection and thought OOO Pretty. When I got there, there weren’t many folks there yet so I peeped the menu and ordered a drink. I didn’t really read any of the drink names but I thought I would start off with getting the featured drink, Rachel’s Verbena Daiquiri

Rum, Lime Juice, and Sugar. I ordered 3 or 4 of these and they eventually became known to me as the Rachel. “yeah, gimme one of them Rachels“

I took my Rachel with me to an empty couch and this pretty blond lady sat next to me and the schmoozefest began. Her name is Cynthia and she is a nutritionist with Shape Magazine (and after googling her name I found out she is the author of the Flat Belly Diet) And after a lengthy conversation about Tofu we were interrupted by one of the organizers…

While the tofu talk got cut out I munched on the most amazing mozzarella stick ever…i think it was the sun dried tomato marinara sauce… nom! And as Cynthia spoke to me, cheezy goo oozed from my mouth. God I feel like such an ass- but what else is new! Then i dripped sauce into my lap. She must have thought “this poor girl must have a mental problem” And she’s write because I bought the damn Flat Belly Diet book and I didnt even recognize her name! stupid stupid stupid!

But then, the dog found me (who claims to have recognized me by my nose) and saved me from the tofu talk that turned into an estrogen gab-fest on the “texture of the curds”. blech.

The dog had his pup with him and I got a pic of the pup’s feet while I was taking a pic of my half eat monk fish. The monk fish was sooo good. It had a roasted red pepper foam on it.

Then, with strong enthusiasm from the FB diet lady, I had to try the hummus. It was cube shaped (which I got a lil ignorant about “how do they get it like this? OMG“) yummy goodness all over it. I loved it. It was something that i could have eaten with the monk fish all night. Dreaming of it. Drooling over it. Moving on…Because the foodgasm was short lived with the medicine shot, I mean shit, dammit, I mean the Bruschetta shot. Which tasted like medicine and or shit – so you see why I got it confused. I did not have seconds, Nor did I want to ever look at it again. Seeing this shot pains me even now, I need a Rachel.

Look! Bloggers! From Left to right: Marc from No recipes, Nichelle from Cupcakes take the Cake, and the Dog from ChezWhat? (lookout foodies…we’re sarcastic and armed with utensils)

I scored some swag and still managed to act like I was stealing it by placing it in my purse behind the bar. Its free. Why do i always feel like I’m stealing when I take what is F-R-E-E. I happen to have tasted some of this stuff while they were walking around. I managed to try a Sun Dried tomato cottage cheese and I was sad when they didnt have any samples to take home. I did not cry I just took what was around.

i got stickers – because sometimes I like to put ridiculous stickers on stuff that will eventually get thrown away. Seriously, what is the purpose of stickers? And Why do i have 5 sheets of the same stickers?

Because stickers are useless and they wanted to give all the leftover stickers to anyone who would take them. “hey, yeah you, take these stickers! they’re free”

I was glad to take this candle though. Its a soy candle that smells amazing! It smells like the chapsticks I used to eat…i mean wear as a child. I let Henry Smell it and he held it on his nose for a good 20 minutes. I could not pry it from his hands. He looked really funny curled up on my bed inhaling a candle and turning in every direction to keep me from taking it back.

Here’s my handmade name tag along with a 2 G Flash Drive with info on the yogurt and Cottage Cheese. If I know someone named Rachel, this would make an excellent Re-gift. No?

I might have been a little buzzed when i got home… But don’t worry, I didnt email the Flab Belly Lady until this morning – so I sort of redeemed myself.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Crazy Pic Overload!!!

I have a bad habit of slacking off on the weekend, with respect to the blog, and then on Monday I get flustered and go nuts uploading pics and then sorting them out by day.

We are going to go over the weekend as it happened.

FRIDAY
On Friday after work, it was a coworkers birthday so we all headed over to Whiskey Tavern for Happy Hour.

My First Drink was a pitiful Dirty martini. It was too dirty, It was incredibly cloudy and they used the cheap stuff *blech*, the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round was a very safe and yummy Vodka Tonic. Thats my “go to” drink when I go out.
This was dinner. I only paid $9 for a Chicken Florentine burger. The fries were perfect. But the chicken was a little tough. A Little spicy mustard and dab of mayo cleared that problem right up!
That is ONE Mamoth Burger! I looked at it and felt overwhelmed because i imagined a $9 meal in the city would be smaller. Quite the bang for my buck! I was hoping to NOT eat this whole thing…

Drinking leads to mindless munching… and I ate that WHOLE thing. Except the napkin of course.
Went home, went to bed because Saturdays I have TAP CLASS!

SATURDAY
Alarm clock went off and I was happy to NOT have a hangover (who the hell wants to bounce around with a hangover)

I made a super healthy breakfast of Oatmeal with cinnamon and walnuts.

And I MUST have my vitamins with all the sickies around!

Looks like Orange Juice. Tastes like crushed Orange Vitamins. I usually put this in Orange Juice but I was all out so i used water. Chug Chug Chug.
I got lost on my way to tap class because our studio moved to a FURTHER part of Queens and Im a Brooklyn Girl. I had to take the bus and I am not good with the bus. So after witnessing a man beatup his girlfriend in Jamaica Queens, being offered weed on Parsons and Archer, someone asking me to marry them at the bus stop and the perv that faced the back of the bus to stare at me I made it to class. Next week Im carrying Pepper Spray. Class went well. We were productive. I, as usual, had tourettes in class; because when i cant nail a combination i curse.
Went home to moms house and freeloaded.

Thanks to Missy and her wraps, I made a Smoked Turkey, Meunster Cheese and Roast pepper wrap.

Wrap-tastic!I was geared up to go to Michael’s 5th anniversary of his 21st Birthday (or 26th Birthday to all the old fogies) and I got so sick all of a sudden. I had a splitting headache and got chills, a fever, and felt really dizzy. My dad took me home and I missed the party! I was so bummed. Later that evening, I ate some chicken fried rice. And then I splurged on a cupcake my bro brought home from work.

Went to bed with an ice pack on my face.

SUNDAY
I felt pretty rotten. Stupid headache. Everything else felt better but I could not open my eyes, the light was sooo bright. And when I moved I hurt like hell. It was definitely a sinus headache. I made some breakfast and realized it was time to go food shopping.
No bread around so i made an egg with some grits. Not exciting at all. But it filled me up. I rummaged through the cabinets and fridge and made my shopping list. I also took out a Beef Tenderloin to defrost for Dinner.

I seasoned a 3 lb tenderloin with some Montreal Steak Seasoning. Its a coarse rub with pepper, garlic, salt, and some other delicious spices. I preheated the oven to 425.

And placed the tenderloin in a baking dish with carrots and potatoes. I covered with foil and cooked for 50 minutes. It was 20 minutes in the oven for every pound of meat.

Next time I will cook for less time. The meat was a little one the chewy side. To accompany the meat, I made some Risotto. I kind of BSed this recipe but what else is new?I took some arborio rice (or med grain rice) and tossed it in some Oil to toast the grains a bit. Once they were a bit toasty, I added two packets of mushroom soup mix from my Ramen Noodles (minus the noodles).and poured three cups of water into the pan. Let it come to a boil and cover. Stir every 5 minutes until the water is absorbed. Some people add 1 cup of water at a time so the rice slowly absorbs the water but Im impatient that way.

Its just about ready in this photo. Remove it from the heat after about 15 minutes and let the remaining liquid absorb into the rice.
Iit should be very moist and as my mom would say it “MUSHY”.
Plate it and serve! After all this cooking, I gave it a taste and was more than happy to serve this to Henry and put mine aside. I still had a headache and wanted something creamy. Was going to make pudding but it would have taken too long and the thought of taking out the mixer made me tired. So I went for the Chobani yogurt that I splurged on today. This one yogurt was $1.99!No complaints. It was tart and sweet and creamy and just what i wanted! YuM!

Henry came over later on, ate dinner and surprised me with dessert.

He rememberd how taken I was with the photo I took last week and bought this to me hoping it would cure my headache.It didnt cure me but it certainly did taste good! it wasnt too sweet and the cake itself was fluffy. polished this slice off with a glass of milk.

I think I am lactose intolerant… After the yogurt and milk I had a tummy ache.

If you’re still reading… thanks and sorry. I hope you feel caught up. Because I need a nap now.

*Burp*

‘Scuse me.

Morning! Went out for Korean last night. LOOOOVE me some Korean food! Ate till it hurt. And went home to watch Private Practice. Woke up today (with lots of hot water!) and realized i did not have breakfast prepared. So, loving the breakfast i made yesterday, I microwaved some apples with cinnamon and brown sugar.

and drizzled Mesquite Honey on it! (stop drooling!)

Then made some oatmeal!

used the baked apples as a topping. Packed it up and took it to work.

When I got to work the oatmeal needed something. So I crumbled 1/4 of a Chocolate Fiber One Bar! Its a JUNK oatmeal. I seem to be on a junk theme this week. Oh wellz.

Last night, I was dreaming of Breakfast for dinner or a piece of grilled salmon when Henry called and said “Yo, me you and peter are going to dinner”. I learned not to argue with the man when he says we are going out. So I called Peter and told him we were having Korean. He dropped the take out menu and got dressed.

We got there, FREEZING, and had a big cup of Hot Green Tea. I love the green tea they serve! So i guzzled it and let it warm me from the inside. *swoon* and gave Henry full reign on ordering. I always let him order for me at the Korean place. His ex is Korean so he has pretty much tried EVERYTHING and will never steer me wrong.
Henry and I opted for the Spicy Pork Stir-fry and it came with so much stuff. I had to take two pics of the table and still left some dishes out.

The red stuff was SOOOO good. Dont ask me what anything on this pic is. All I know is that they were all good… Oh wait, the lonely piece of fish with a tartar sauce – so good. The Kimchee, seaweed salad, and brown stuff got cut out and I couldnt reach it.

Then there is the delicious and massive plate of spicy stir fried pork! YUM YUM YUM. Cabbage with red pepper paste, baked tofu with yummy sauce, and something with beef and potatoes that tasted like spanish food, miso soup and rice.

Peter was boring. He got a bowl of junk. He ate it though, he seemed to like it. But I think deep down he wanted the take out menu. Peter eats well but he’s not into the “foodie” stuff as he says.

I might go to lunch with my girlies Rojas and Cifuentes. Girls, if you are reading this, send me a pic so I can link it and the world can see how gorgeous you are!

In the Name of Baked Goods

Went to visit mom the other day and took a boatload of pics and never uploaded them. BONUS BLOG entry! YaHOO!
For some reason Mom gets inspired to bake when Im around. I think she pretends to need assistance with the hope that I will take over (You’re busted mom, aren’t you?)
A few posts ago, I made a disastrous attempt at healthy brownies. I suggested No Pudge next time and guess what was in Moms Cabinet?

Thats right! No Pudge Brownie Mix! I initially heard about this wonderful treat in a Weight Watchers newsletter. I hunted them down and have been hooked on them ever since.
All you need to make these decadent brownies: yogurt and mix. SIMPLE!

Its a P.I.T.A (pain in the @$$) to mix the two together so you should start by adding ALL the yogurt to a bowl and arm yourself with a whisk. Pour the mix in little by little and whisk. This is a P.I.T.A! Once its all mixed pour it into your brownie dish and bake.

I knew the batter felt a little too thick as she poured (scraped) it into the pan. The center pieces were moist but the entire thing was supposed to be moist. We realized that we only added 4 oz of yogurt instead of 6 oz. Had I noticed that in the beginning I’d be telling a different tale. The taste was fine but it lost points for presentation.

Later that day I went out with the DBF (darling/dear/dumb boyfriend – however you are feeling determines which D) took me to Fay Day Bakery in Queens for some yummy treats. We got bubble tea too! I had the Taro Milk tea with Boba (tapioca pearls) YUM and Henry insisted that I try some sweet bun with a sweet buttercream in the center dusted with coconut flakes…it was lovely. But I got excited by the beauty in the pastry case.

As a baker, ‘scuse me, as someone who has attempted to bake, this is HELL annoying to make so I appreciate is beauty! Awesome!

I love the writing in the dusted chocolate topping! And Who doesnt Love Tiramisu??? I actually know how to make that!

But nothing beat the Homemade Cookie that Sofia had given me at work!!! Drool!

And for my Monthiversary with Henritos… (2 months ya’ll) he brought home White Castle which made me laugh. But it was a celebration that called for Murder Burgers.

And before I get bashed for eating a White Castle Cheeseburger, Did you know White Castle takes reservations on Valentine’s Day and have Wait Staff with candles and tablecloths???

Henry, if you are reading this: I enjoy a murder burger every now and then but if you take me to white castle on valentines day this will happen to you.

Another Day, Another Diner

I woke up Sunday morning with a rumbly tummy. I looked at the clock and saw that it was no longer morning. 12:02 pm. Eek! I never sleep that late but last night I met up with some Old High School friends at the Kew Club, which is on my block, and took advantage of $20 open bar (otherwise I wouldnt have set foot in that hell hole) … Hangover Food was in Order.

Not wanting to go very far Henry and I opted to try The Village Diner which is walking distance from my apartment and always closed when we wanted to go. And being that we have been trying a new diner every week I treated this trip as a challenge. The quest to find a good diner in Queens.

It was empty when we got there which made me skeptical. Crowds = great food… but this empty diner was deceiving. Considering that good diners are open 24/7, i was EXTREMLY skeptic about a dinner that closed at 10 pm daily.

I ordered an Egg white omelet with swiss, onions and turkey bacon.

It came with homefries but I wanted regular fries. The omelet was HUGE and the fries were perfectly cooked. The omelet was tasty too.

Henry ordered a breakfast wrap with susage, ham and eggs…oh and cheese. With homefries. He wanted waffle fries but they didnt have any. He was upset.

Over all this diner won me over. Points for being close enough for me to walk there and for having good service!

Open Bar included this layout:

It was for a private party.

Me and my besties from High School. Class of 2001!

The Hangover Culprits!