Still with me on my whirlwind weekend at BlogHer?
Awesome.
I will warn you though, this last post about what I experienced at BlogHer might be a little much to take in.
Its no surprise to any of you that I LOVE to party… and the last day of BlogHer is ALL ABOUT THE PARTIES.
Armed with a whopping 4 hours of sleep, I woke up and prepared for a LONG day on my feet and opted for a pair of nice jeans and a black top… there was no WAY i was going to accomplish a wardrobe change! Oh Hell No. ESPECIALLY using the MTA on a WEEKEND!
I arrived at the registration desk bright and early and in deperate need of coffee. The registration desk was DEAD! Everyone was either sleeping or not planning on coming in.. so thats when i got to bullshit with some of the other volunteers. I got to meet the lovely Deb, from Vodkamom, who is a mom after my own heart. 2N jenn, from coconutdiaries, whom i spent most of my day with (and plan on rooming with come BlogHer’11) Andrea, from lilkidthings, and two more lovely ladies whom, i sadly forgot the names of! I apologize! My boss wont let me get coffee so this post might be a lil wonky (but arent I always a lil wonky?)
Well after a much needed latte from the ‘bucks, 2n Jenn and I hit the breakfast area… since registration was at a stand still. The sponsor was Quaker Oats and good thing too! My stomach needed a lil oatmeal luvin…
I might have gotten a little greedy. I had wanted to try the soy yogurt for a while now but could never bring myself to PAY for something i wasnt sure i was going to like… and sure enough, i hated it. The honey dew was delicously sweet again and the banana was for my oats.

My oats that were OKAY becuase they were running low on brown sugar. Woulda been a kick ass cup of oatmeal. Then 2N Jenn and I got asked to help out during the keynote. I was put on camera patrol and had to be on the lookout for dummies using their camera, despite all the signage that said NO PHOTOS DURING KEYNOTE!
lame asses.
I decided to cut out of the keynote with 30 mins to spare to hit the expo room for extra swag to give as gifts (i am SO thoughtful sometimes). And then i ran into My favorite mom and her kiddos! We spent a few mins together before I had to ditch her to attend a session with 2n Jenn and regular jen on telling memoirs and when telling lies are okay (they’re not!) which was given by the Bloggess herself. It was really awesome hearing her speak and giving great examples of how to deal with situations when readers dont get you. Or when you provide too much information. I never thought about what my family might say 20 years from now when im famous (cause i will be) and my words sit here and “haunt” them (i say haunt because have you seen the way I get when i drink? Scandolous!)
After session 2n Jenn, Regular Jen and I hit lunch… and it looked gooooood.
it was. it was a hot lunch. veal scalopene, lemony salmon, hericot vert, orichette with marinara, beans, and random salads. My goal was to taste everything… and everything was good…
Oh Good God… note to self: Next Year Bring Pepto Bismol and Tums. And since i hit the expo halls HARD the previous day I made day 2 all about the Suites. And with all that shit I just ate I had the NERVE to go to the S’Mores suite…

and ate two s’mores! But c’mon, when was the last time you had a s’more??? Right next door to the S’more suite, i ended up in the MY BLOG SPARK suite where in order to get the swag, you had to go to ever kiosk in the room and taste the fucking food. i should have worn thanksgiving pants. I should have rented a room for the day so i could have a bathroom to cry in all by myself because i ate too much.
But I had time to give my stomach a rest. I hit the expo hall to give Proctor and Gamble a visit. Talk about Swag! I scored a Pur Water filter and some sweet household crap! yes!
I took my tired body to the recharge area to sit and recharge my overused, over tweeting, abused cell phone. And while i was there i sorted through my swag, arranged it into one bag and then dumped the stuff i didnt need in the swag exhange center…where i ironically managed to find more stuff. shaking my damn head.
After that I checked my bags with the hotel lobby so i could be FREE of swag and hit my last session. Humor Writing. What can i say about the lecture? It was brilliantly funny – go figure. But the panelists were quick witted intelligent ladies. I thoroughly enjoyed the session… although im not sure it made me funnier, you can be the judge of that…
I had a coffee break with Regular Jen during the closing keynote, while 2N Jenn went to her room to change her wardrobe. i was tempted to ask if i could nap in her room… but being that i just met her and she had 3 other roomies, not sure if they would have welcomed the image of a hispanic woman with large bags splattered onto their bed and snoring.
After the Keynote, Regular Jen, 2N Jenn, Lauren and I went across the street for the first party of the night with Eden Fantasys. The theme? Cupcakes and dildos.
MMMM. Cupcakes!

and er… dildos. They were setting up a dildo decorating table… and I jumped into action grabbing the most fun looking one on the table and watched other gluing bows, painting “drips” onto them and even adding sequins… Call me a dildo purist but I didnt have the heart to decorate something that would be useless afterwards. And where would i place said dildo after i decorated it? Give it to my mom? “look what i made for you mama!” Um, no. So i hung for a lil bit, picked up my new swag bag of vibrators and went to the next party…

The Green party. The party i only spent 20 mins inside (just long enough to get a drink) It was a snoozer!
I got a tweet from Joanne who said the music was pumpin at Blogalicious… so we went to Blogalicious.

we scored a free hat… and a really awesome purse hanger! I already am starting to act silly…

We took a nice one! hot mamas!

The music indeed was pumping and all these lady bloggers were shaking their booties and having a good time. The Dj’s dance crew (a trio of 3 athletic and adorable boys) were hamming it up every chance they got. There was no modesty for these boys as they’d go in the middle of hte dance floor and flip, spin, do a dumb dance move and dance with ladies…

Someone MIGHT have started a soul train line… and I MIGHT have gone down the aisle doing the Rogger Rabbit, Cabbage Patch, and Running Man…MIGHT have. Not sure yet. And ironically found out my lil brother knows the ham brothers… such a small world.

I might have announced that one of these boys was the greatest swag ever… and then they announced at 8 something that they had to go… probably because it was past their bedtime. Later Scene Stealers!
2N Jenn, Regular Jen, and I got the right idea and hit the next party early to score a table SPARKLECORN! 80’s movie paraphanilia, glow sitcks, unicorns and poprocks everywhere! It was awesome!
We scored t shirts that said “Judy Blume did Not Prepare me For This!” holla! Bloggers and tweeting… ALWAYS.
The Music was old school and since i dance my ass off at blogalicious I started to dance my ass off at Sparklecorn!
I was holding a baby unicorn. And i was sweating. from dancing. ANd i scored extra drink tickets from the bouncers i made friends with.

We even had CAKE! and not just any cake… oh no siree…

This be a Charm City Cake… by the Ace of Cakes himself.
Shut up.
No you shut up!
i had some nourishment… to help the alcohol go down faster.

and danced. Didnt even feel like I was up since the crack of dawn or that i was runnin on 4 hrs of sleep, lots of coffee and sugar. But I was having SOOO much fun! With the next and last party starting at 10, me and the 2 Jens hit the CheeseburgHer party a little after 10.
WE got more drink tickets and a voucher for a free angus wrap… this party was sponsored by McDonalds.

And there were beds on the DANCE FLOOR!

2N jenn and I RAN for the KingSize bed. ANd laughed our asses off when a THIRD Jen asked if she could sit with us. 3 Jens and a Mo. nice. There were people handing out Hats and cheeseburgers…

There was even a hat decorating table… I didnt wear a hat… for long.

becuase there were swirly straws to find and cheese burgers to eat.

Im a Gangsta. PINKIES UP!

And a snack wrap that was HEAVY on the Mayo.. ewww.

Can you tell this was the fun party? It was also the “Holy shit guys, we’re drunk, lets wear hats and eat crap cheeseburgers” party!

I stood till about midnight. hugged and kissed my girls goodbye while lauren and I treated ourselves to a cab ride home to queens where the lovely driver got lost using my drunk directions. $40 later, we were home. and in bed.
In the morning, Lauren and I hit breakfast and then i was left alone to sort through this:

MOMMY!
Overall, I had a GREAT Time at BlogHer! So much so, that Im already making arrangements to go in 2011 in San Diego!
Make sure to check in with my lovely ladies for their awesome recaps:
Regular Jen (her photos! they came out amazing and she took them with her iPHONE! Take THAT Nikon!)
and for a peak at the lecture transcripts: Go to BlogHer.com
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