If there is one thing I think we should all do as adults, its get in touch with our inner child every now and again. When my pals Mike and Mel found a deal for Medieval Times on Gold Star some months ago, they not only bought tickets but called on their fellow drunkards to partake in an epic night of debauchery…cheesy style. So, for about $30, we got tickets to Medieval Times. Original Price is about $60. And Kelly Ripa was in attendance with her children! (im sure she was on the winning side…)

Having no memory whatsoever of my last visit to Medieval Times, I was about 4 years old and in Florida, I was REALLY looking forward to it. To sweeten the deal, our measly group of 11 quadrupled in size when I invited Patty who was celebrating an undisclosed birthday on the same day. So… needless to say, it was QUITE the adventure.


Medieval Times in New Jersey is accessible via Public Transportation but for those with friends who drive, its about 45 minutes away from NYC. A night at Medieval Times includes dinner and a show. The show starts at 730, but they open at 6… for those that want to take photos and hit the bar.

Bar? Did someone say Bar? Yes! And apparently my group of 42 people wasnt the only group down for some alcohol. The bar area was a MOB SCENE. And if there is one thing I hate more than anything is crowds. What should have been a relaxing prelude to the show was a nerve wracking anxiety attack for me.

But thats what God made Tequila for.


When they finally seated us, we were given some tomato bisque and garlic toast. One of the things I did remember about Medieval times is there are no utensils. What I did not remember was the food being good. Not amazing… but good!

The Tomato Bisque needed a touch of salt but it had a great consistency and did not in any way taste like it was of the canned variety. So kudos for the soup!


When you arrive at Medieval Times, you are assigned a color. This color represents your Knight who will be dueling during the show later on. You get matching crowns and its amazing how into it the adults get!


The show is well done with live horses that are not only well trained but stunning to watch! I almost always feel bad for animals in shows, but i felt good seeing the horses look gallant and happy! And even more reassuring was not being the only one to think that.


We consumed lots of beer during the show. Which was awesome until we had to use the restroom. The seating at Medieval times is such that if you have to get up, everyone else in your row will need to get up as well. My advice? Go before the show and dont drink so much during. Your row mates will thank you. Mine cursed my name 4 times.


Throughout the 2.5 hour show, dinner was served. The soup was served first and slowly, elements of the entre appeared on your plate. The contents of dinner are a half roasted chicken, herbed potato, and a braised rib.


I was stoked… i love roasted chicken. It was seasoned well and was nice and moist.


Me and my roommate were both in agreement that dinner was good!


The rib was not amazing, but the cooking method was flawless as the meat fell off the bone!


The star of the meal though, was the Pastry of the Castle. A warm and flaky apple turnover. So amazingly good! And if that werent enough, I baked double chocolate cupcakes for Patty’s Birthday and we all had a double dessert.

After the show, we went back to the bar which was a lot more tolerable… but there was no more booze being sold. waaah! It was a good time to take photos with Cast members.


I took a photo with our Knight who sadly was killed off first during the show.


And then spied two cuties who looked a little lonely. I was in a really good mood at this point (thanks Tequila) and might have been jokingly inappropriate… “Can I do you two at the same time?” They paused… and then i held up my camera… “3 of us. Photo?”

“Lady, this is a family show”

“Wheres your sense of humor!?”


And if that wasnt enough, we took the birthday girl to the local bar for more debauchery.


…in the form of shots and libations. Lots of shots.


Then i found handcuffs!


I had a blast! Im sure the birthday girl did too!


Happy Birthday Patty!

Peace Out!