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For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted kids but I never felt 100% ready to have kids. When my husband and I started dating, it was understood that we both wanted children but wouldn’t rush into it. So we dated, we got engaged, got married…and then everyone started to ask where the babies were. I was 31 when I married my husband so I can understand why people were curious but honestly, now that I have been on the receiving end of these questions, they were invasive and annoying; they only made me dig my heels in about waiting a little longer.

After we got married, my husband started a grad school program…in DC. It was a 9 month program that required him to be away from home. I promised that on my 32nd birthday, after he finished school, we would open the baby factory – but not share this information with anyone.
After a year of trying and more pressure from family and friends, we both felt very strongly about telling people to back off. The added stress wasn’t going to help. We started tracking by using an ovulation kit. We tracked for 2 months and I found that either i wasn’t tracking at the right time of day or my window of fertilization was REALLY REALLY small. So, I stopped tracking my ovulation all together but continued to track my periods.
Brent and I discussed adoption when we hit the 2 year mark. We put out a feeler with an agency in the city but they never got back to us so we just continued to enjoy ourselves. I was in grad school and was dealing with the stress of school so no surprise there, no baby.
We were rounding the base upon the 3 year mark of us trying to make a baby and I finally told my husband that after the new year I would go to a doctor and see whats up. When I thought about us becoming parents, I desperately longed for that moment that hits a woman by surprise when her period is late and she takes a test and boom there is the positive. I wasn’t against IVF or anything, but I just wanted to experience making a baby “the old fashioned way” without the added stress of tracking cycles, temperatures, etc. I stopped looking at my period app other than to check when my period was coming and continued to not worry about baby-making.
On my 35th birthday, we celebrated with a delicious dinner with friends and family – it was perfect. I also made it my business to make time for friends. I was going out at least 2x a week for happy hours with coworkers. I even had a job interview for a really amazing job (spoiler alert, I did not get it).
On December 12, I was on my way to my job interview when I had the most intense cramps and broke out in a strange rash all over my arms out of nowhere. My period was due on Dec 14 so I hoped that my period wouldn’t come down during my interview. I noticed during my interview I was struggling to speak as I was so out of breath – like I ran up a flight of stairs. It was so embarrassing. The following day, I destroyed a bottle of rose with a coworker and on Dec 14, had a delicious lunch of fish tacos and champagne at a nearby restaurant. I was feeling particularly emotional and tired but I enjoyed my champagne so much I invited my hubby out to have another bottle of rose with me after work. We sipped champagne, ate oysters, and cheese. I usually love oysters but these tasted really metallic… the cheese was also overwhelmingly funky- so much so that I gagged – that never happens either. When we got home, I playfully took a pregnancy test since my period had yet to appear. I heard that the line appears immediately when a woman is pregnant, so since I didn’t see a line, I put the test in the trash and then proceeded to stuff my face with cookies and chips… like I didn’t just have a nice meal during happy hour. I don’t know what possessed me to, but I decided to peek into the trash and look at the test again.
And there it was.
A positive. A faint one, but a positive none the less.
I didn’t know what to do so I brought it to my husband and asked him what he saw. He calmly looked at it and slowly nodded “looks like you’re pregnant, babe”.
Oh. My. God.
I started trembling. Like teeth clattering and shivering type of trembles followed by the runs and intense nausea. It was like all of a sudden I had all the symptoms. I was a nervous wreck. We live in a 1 bedroom. Where will we put a baby? Am I ready to be a mom?
I barely slept that night. Every single worry crept into my mind. I’m 35 – high risk. I’m overweight. I have a job but I was hunting for something more specialized. I barely slept and the next morning, I decided to take a new test just to make sure. Gave the test to my husband and sure enough, still pregnant. The nerves and panic had subsided and I began to feel excited.
It finally happened and it happened the way I had always hoped it would.
Best birthday present yet.

We told our parents as soon as the 4th and 5th pregnancy tests were positive. We waited until week 12 to share the news with social media:

Food Snob is gonna be a Mommy.