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I sort of journaled my pregnancy experience on here as a note to self and also for those that were curious. So many moms told me that they forgot all the woes of being pregnant and I honestly didn’t believe that was possible… but here I sit with an 8 month old and reading the old posts I wrote I realized I actually did forget.

Aside from my normal woes in the first and second trimester, I was feeling pretty good. I was staying active and making sure to take walks everyday and eat well- balanced meals. I am proud to say I only gained 15 lbs during the pregnancy but this isn’t very uncommon among moms that are plus-size but either way, I was proud of this accomplishment.  Around week 30 of the pregnancy I was hit like a ton of bricks. The weeks that were once flying by, started to painlessly drag. I was losing sleep, I was constantly in the bathroom (every 30 mins), my feet were the size of balloons, and the waddle was REAL.

That stupid freaking waddle.

I had what you would call Pelvic Girdle Pain – a condition I never heard of until I had it. Its when your pelvis gets misaligned due to the weight of the baby – my little angel wasn’t huge or anything but the pain was so severe that i needed help putting underwear on. Good thing it was summer because I could not be bothered to wear pants. Getting up and down, laying down, etc. everything hurt like my pelvis was going to snap in half. So, 10 weeks left felt like 10 more months.

During my final trimester, i learned baby girl was breach; due to my age my doc thought it was best to schedule a C-section for Aug 15. She got into position on her own but they still kept my date just in case she wanted to go back to breach – she didn’t – she kept herself right on top of that pelvis lol. I had a scare during week 36 – I was officially on maternity leave but i developed a rash that alarmed my OB and I was sent to Labor and Delivery to see if I needed to be induced. Thankfully all was well and I was sent home.

No one tells you all the fun you get to have when you’re super pregnant and have to go see the OB 1x per week and have a sonogram 1x per week. All the lovely trips.  During my week 37 visit, my OB told me my girl was NO WHERE near ready to be born as she was high up and I wasnt dilating at all. LIKE, at all. And she guessed I would carry until 42 weeks. I almost started crying when i got the news because i wanted to deliver already- I couldnt even dress myself let alone imagine another 5 weeks of it just waiting for baby.

But my doc was surprised to learn my Csec was still scheduled and she asked if I wanted to give birth week 39 instead of waiting.

Fam, can I tell you how those sad tears became happy tears??? I signed the dotted line and prepared for my c-sec.

Some may say I took the “easy” way out but as selfish as I may seem, I couldn’t bear anymore pain or the risk of needing an emergency C-sec. So I got a full nights sleep the night before my C-sec and had a very good and uneventful surgery.

Getting an epidural was surreal. Getting morphine was awful – the moment the surgery began I was telling my angel, my anesthesiologist every time I was feeling nauseous and he would adjust my dosage. I was a special case as he had never met anyone as sensitive to morphine as I was. My baby girl was delivered with zero complications and the sound of her cry was indescribable. She was covered in blood and guts, puffy, and screaming her little head off but she was so perfect.

Once they stitched me up, the let me hold her for the first time. The moment she smelled me she was rooting for my milk and they encouraged me to feed her if I wanted to; so I did. They wheeled me to recovery and my parents showed up to meet their first grand baby. There were pics taken, people taking turns holding her, etc and I remember none of it – i only remember shivering uncontrollably and sweating profusely with the worst nausea ever.

Not having eaten the night before, i was hungry and my husband fed me some jello. I was still really nauseous, shivering, and sweating – a symptom from the morphine leaving my body. I was still in recovery and unable to walk  when I called for a nurse because I really didn’t feel well. As she was coming near me, I locked eyes with her and projectile vomited across the room.

COMPLETELY Mortified. I continued to vomit like I was in the exorcist for TWELVE HOURS. God bless nurses. I swear. if they weren’t cleaning up my vomit, they were literally wiping my behind because I still couldn’t walk after having the c-section. Happy to say that I didn’t get any sick on my baby – she was happily nursing while her new mommy was tossing her cookies LOL.

Now, the one thing I was worried about was recovery since the last weeks of pregnancy were hell. To my amazement, I felt amazing. Once they removed the catheter, I was up and about like nothing. The pelvic pain was GONE, and aside from being gentle and avoid bending because I was literally cut open, I felt great.

I was so at peace with my decision to have the c-section but the downside was obviously getting sick from the morphine and having to stay in the hospital for 4 days. Would I do it again? The verdict is still out. I love being a momma but pregnancy was TOUGH and if it is to happen again, I leave that in God’s hands.

If you’re still reading, thanks for taking the time to read my “birth” story. Props to you Mommas doing it all – its not an easy job.